THE ART OF HAVING THE LAST WORD

Sometimes it seems that we agree on very little. Perhaps it is simply a ploy to add a little spice to his day, or perhaps he just loves to argue, and have the last word.

Well this time the word was DAMP.

It was a very grey day, the clouds were thick, smothering the sky. The morning chores finished, grate cleared and re-laid, ready for a match to change the mood of the room. Lunch over I took Milou for his afternoon run, well walk, a brisk round the houses and back sharpish as it was cold.

JP. OK?
Me. Yes, but cold.
JP. Can't be cold, not with clouds that tick.' [not a spelling error]

He has this idea that if it rains, it can't be cold because if it was cold the rain would be snow or sleet.

Me. Well, it was, and because it is damp it seems colder, a clammy cold.
JP. You mean, Humid? [actually he said 'umid ]
Me. No, it is only humid when it's hot, Damp when it's cold.
JP.  And you are the one with a BA?
Me. Now you are becoming annoying..It is my language, surely you can admit that I must be right. It was cold and Damp

I dug in the bookcase and carried the Dictionary into the kitchen, thumping it down on the table.
Me: There, Damp:[oh oh] Slightly wet......
JP. Yes...like 'umid.
Me. Humid.It says...[oh bugger!] Damp.
JP. Both right then?
Me. Well, I still believe  it is not correct to say that it is damp. For instance during the rainy season in Mexico, and the  air is full of infinitesimal amounts of water - what it is then - is Humid. Muggy and Humid.
JP. So if I go to the garden now and sit on the bench....the seat will be 'umid?
Me: No. Damp.

JP. [In high dudgeon] Perfidious Albion.

Later on I run to the village shop for ciggies.

JP. Was it damp or 'umid.
Me. [with a grin] Moist!

My score, I believe!