Saturday, 6 November 2010


Mr  London Street
instigated this idea and, on my old blog - which has, as you may know disappeared into the back end of Blogland, and which was for a while, withheld to punish me for my stupidity in losing it in the first place – I have already posted 1, 2, 3&4.  Of course I cannot link to them, but thanks to suggestions from bloggy pals, Saz has found the lost treasures and they are all safely tucked away where I can reach them, though not of course in their pristine form.

But this is a new place, not for mourning, so I shall continue as if ‘nowt has happened.

5: I like water, moving water. I prefer a bath to a shower  being immersed in it.
I like to be near the sea, as near as possible; at least five of our homes have been within earshot of splash and slurp and susurration.

 I used to swim every day, from April till September until my mid-fifties and in those days the Bay did not have a very good waste disposal system. There was a long pipe that sent all the nasties a quarter mile out to sea, but nothing to stop it all flowing back inshore. No seaweed grew along our shore and it never occurred to me to ask ‘why not’. I guess I became immune to Staph. and Strep. I was limber and glowing with health.

Then we moved away and the Council built a new Sewage Treatment unit and the seaweed came back and mussel beds grew and the sea lost its dirty brown frown and looked almost Mediterranean on sunny days. But I was older and not happy to frolic in my one piece, hidden panels swimsuit. And the longer I left it, the bigger I grew and I only paddled with Milou once or twice with my jeans rolled up. But the pebbles, which once were as soft as marshmallow beneath my hardened feet now caused me to stumble and prance in a most ungainly manner, as if on hot coals.

I learned to swim and to be unafraid of water in Folkestone during the war. Mother would take my brother and I to the open air swimming pool on the seafront. She would throw pennies into the water and tell us to fetch them back to her, throwing them a little further into deeper water each time.
I would not be afraid to die in water. I almost drowned once, and found the whole incident calming. Silence and the feel of water on my skin like a caress.

I like to sleep alone. Don't misunderstand. I'm as much a fan of bedtime fun as the next woman, and nothing says 'I love you' more than a cuddle, a warm back and a reassuring shhhh! after a bad dream.

But! To stretch and swim on cool sheets, to curl and roll, listen to my radio, speaking out the answers to Round Britain Quiz, read, snore, and occasionally weep, without JP tutting, or shouting out as I disturb the equilibrium of his sleep and he has a nightmare, jumping out of bed, rushing to save the baby, or me, or whatever disaster is unfolding in the nightmarish world he inhabits by night [yet never remembers by day]

We had been married fifteen years or so, fifteen years of broken nights. Of me waking, irritated, not only from lack of sleep but from the wide-eyed and bushy tailed look of my mate. We tried twin beds, and that solved the problem of my movements disturbing him, but not my sounds. A sneeze, a snore, a creak of the bed and he would sit up, switch on the light and stare at me, his eyes red and angry, yet he was still asleep. I quickly learned that shouting at him was not the answer, as it only served to power whatever situation he was living. I had to soothe, gently; 'It's alright Cherie, go back to sleep.'
The next house move gave us an extra room and reluctantly he decided to move into it. We both thought that it was against all the laws of 'happy married life'. How wrong we were.

Added spice, actually.

He still shouts out occasionally. 'I've left the back door open!' or 'What are you doing down there?' Now I just sing out...'Alls well old thing.' and he goes back to sleep and I stretch and roll and swim on my crisp cool sheets and think...Is this the secret of a long and happy marriage?

Well, it is in this house. 


lakeviewer said...

Glad to find you again!

ellen abbott said...

After 35 years of married bliss (hee hee) I'm finding I like to sleep alone sometimes too. I use his snoring as an excuse but sometimes it's just because I want to sleep along.

Leslie: said...

It's reassuring to hear someone admit to preferring to sleep alone. Like you, I love a good old romp and love to snuggle a bit afterwards, but apparently I snore, so "he" always went into the other room to sleep. At first I felt insulted, but now realize that's it is the best way all round.
By the way, there are shoes you can buy to wear in rocky water so you don't slip.

Hilary said...

Unless I fall asleep first, I have a hell of a time trying to get to sleep through twitching and snoring. Separate rooms have happened often around here.

libby said...

A room each sounds like a good idea in lots of ways, with a main bedroom being shared as and when it that the kids are no longer at home we have a choice of rooms...still together in our own at the moment, but can imagine that as the years roll by it could be a pleasure to have some solitude. Loved your 'cossie' description...

Saz said...

As you know I now have a bedroom and bed to myself first time since 1979 and although it wasn't my choice to be like this, l admit l am wholeheartedly enjoying this space of my own. My choices of furniture, decor and bit s and bobs, all very girlified, which l wouldnt have thought was me...but it is very nurturing...

having a king size bed to myself if a treat at times, and although l do starfish impressions to get comfy....I havent yet slept on the other side (his) yet...

I do feel l could get very used to this space alone and see it may be difficult to give up this independent streak l find has been lurking...

perhaps l might have a little fun elsewhere at some point?

great post Ma!!

Saz x

Mr London Street said...

Interesting one, I love sharing a bed. I wonder if I'll feel the same way in thirty years' time?

So good to see you finishing this sequence of posts. So glad you are still writing, too. It was a long barren period when you weren't.

Maggie May said...

Yes, there is nothing like spreading out in a big bed and knowing you won't be disturbed.
I think my other half causes me to wake up every other hour or so. He fidgets and sighs and pulls the covers and keeps looking at the clock.
Then he is up at the crack of dawn and I'm just drifting off.
Too old to change now!
Maggie X

Land of shimp said...

Ah! To number five I must say that you and I share a love of water. I was just swimming today, and enjoying the feeling of weightlessness. If there is an afterlife, Moannie, I really hope they have a very good swimming pool there.

But I brought you a link, and I'm going to have to ask for your indulgence in listening to the song. For the first forty seconds are so you're going to wonder, "Why in the world did this woman bring me a link to such an awful song?"

Well, the title, obviously. Genesis's Home By the Sea ...but also the post I read of yours, not long before the disappearance of said blog, about the artist drawing, and giving you the picture. I didn't have a good childhood either and this particular song was one I loved because I'm fairly certain that's exactly what it is about.

Anyway, if you don't like it, I understand but I always have because it was oddly comforting.

Oh, and my husband sleeps in the guest room about fifty percent of the time so that he can get some rest, and so can I!

lime said...

you know...we've been married nearly 22 years and i am coming to the end of my patience regarding the bed sharing thing. i want to sprawl and snore and not be beaten in my sleep for doing so.

aims said...

Water. I don't think I could stand living in a desert if I didn't have a pool.

I used to swim every day - fast lane - 1 hour.

Now with my health issues I am afraid to swim in our town pool because of the germs. I am afraid to catch anything to add to what I already have so I have stayed away for almost 2 years now.

It makes me incredibly sad. I feel like I am drying out.

Have you seen the movie Big Fish?

I too like to sleep alone. It is freeing (or liberating) in some respects. Even if it is just the couch.

Moannie said...

Lakeviewer: Thank you, I'm so happy that you did.

Ellen: If you think about it it seems daft not to sleep in all the beds in the house.

Leslie: I remember I had those shoes, but truth be told I just hate to expose myself to the world at large.

Hilary: If it is good enough for Queenie and Phillip?

Libby: It is still hanging around but I suspect the 'panels'have given up the ghost.

Sazzie: I guess some of us get to chose and others have the choice thrust upon then...revel in the spaces, darling.

MLS: Thank you, I'm so happy to be back, though it is taking forever for me to catch up.
Hopefully neither of you snore [though if it is at the same time you'll never know, or hog the duvet or have night terrors, chances are you'll still be in bed together after fifty.

Land of Shrimp: Thank you my lovely...I put the Video on and immediately recognised the song [probaly from Sazzies day and Top of the Pops. Sweet dreams.

Lime: Try it does bring a certain something different.

Aims: That is a great shame, but I too avoided public swimming pools....all those little monsters peeing. So to hear that you have health problems. XXX

Big Fish was a fantastical trip and I adored it.

Suldog said...

Agreed, wholeheartedly, on both.

One of my favorite things to do, when I have the chance, is to fill up a big tub with steaming hot and stretch out. Unfortunately, our tub at home doesn't quite accommodate my height, so I rarely get to enjoy such a thing there. Sometimes, in a hotel, I find a tub that a full-grown person can luxuriate in.

As for sleeping in separate rooms, MY WIFE and I have done so for the majority of our married life. I am an only child, so never had to share a bed in my life. She did, with a sister growing up, but had been on her own for many years before we met. So, for both of us, it only seemed natural to have sleeping quarters we didn't have to share. We alternate which room we use for other things than sleeping, and that works out just fine.

Janette said...

I am glad to hear that I am not alone in sleeping in my own room. I snore- apparently. When we sleep in the same bed I am rolled and prodded all night. I have taken to the downstairs couch quite comfortably.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

Nice to meet you, and thanks for the visit :) I shall have a look around! gr

Jules~ said...

I love the water but have always been afraid of what I can't see beneath the watery waves. You make me want to shrug off my fears and give it a try. Funny, /i spent my youth in the waters of Hawaii and it never bothered me until later in life when we were stationed in Okinawa and a friend received crisscross infection burns across her legs from a man-o-war jellyfish.

And sleeping is so good to hear someone else with my same thoughts. My best sleep is after my wonderful husband heads to work early in the morning. He doesn't do anything to bother me. The bed just feels different when I know I can stretch out.

Blessings to you today.

Grumpy Old Ken said...

I always go to sleep with my wife alongside me and wake up alone 9one spare room, one spare bed. And happily married for forty years!